Last week, on the last day of August, I was going to join some friends for a bicycle ride around the Oceanside-San Diego area. But before meeting them, I decided to take a few minutes to visit a certain place in the town of Carlsbad.
It was where Ruth and I spent our honeymoon back in 1993.
Yes, no Cancun, no Waikiki, no Paris. Just small Carlsbad, California. It is probably not most people’s desired destination for a honeymoon, but it did well for us. The stay there was a wedding gift from Rachelle, the generous owner of the place, and indeed, it was the best place to start our life together.
The scene of course has changed drastically since we were there over a quarter of a century ago. Back then, the house was newly constructed, and served as a gorgeous vacation home. There was no public park– and no big trees– between the house and the lagoon. The lagoon itself was a more natural marsh, and not developed as it is today.
I parked my bike on the fence that divided the park from the lagoon. As I looked around, the images of 25 years ago came back to me. Every morning, as Ruth and I sat down to breakfast, we looked out the huge glass doors to see egrets and herons standing in the marshes, and ducks and terns floating on the water. We had nightly candlelight dinners overlooking the beautiful waters as the sun sprinkled its orange sparkles on the surface. We enjoyed the luxurious bathtub in a room that had a large window overlooking the peaceful waves. (Today, though, I could tell from the outside that the room no longer served as the master bathroom– for I guess it would be awkward to have a big picture window of the bathroom overlook a public park.)
A sensation of grief enveloped me as I recalled those days, knowing that Ruth is now no longer here. There was a choking in my throat and my eyes blurred for a while. But there was also a deep sense of gratitude for the week there, where we birthed our communal life together– where we talked into the night about grand things like how we might affect the world for the better, and where we debated mundane things like what video to watch that night. Looking back on it all now, I don’t think we would have been happier in the more posh places designated as to-die-for honeymoon destinations. We savored in the contradictions of the location– humble yet luxurious, far away but not far away, Carlsbad but still the ultimate romantic getaway.
Then- about fifteen minutes later, refreshed after allowing the shower of memories wash over me– I got on my bike and, biking past the gate that was not there 25 years ago, went on to make the appointment with my biking friends.
3 comments
I appreciate your sharing these precious memories Thuan. Meaningful. Ruth was a wonderful, loving woman. Bless you.
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Thank you Carol, for remembering Ruth with me. It’s hard to know why I felt like writing about that time by the lagoon, or why I had the urge to go there. But I suppose you know about those times that do appear. Thanks, again.
Beautiful memory and beautifully told. Thank you for inviting me in to share a snapshot. I may be a world away in Spain, but still deeply miss and think often, and am thankful often, for Ruth.